I'll Take the Magical Life Please...

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I recently came to realize that I have been on a quest for a magical life since I was , hmm, well very very young. I was desperate to read and when I did start reading I went hog wild and read everything I could get my hands on. Greek Mythology was my favorite and then Fantasy took over which later blossomed out into the hybrid Science Fiction/Fantasy and the sky was the limit from there. My quest gained a great deal of momentum when I met my spiritual teacher and received Shaktipat at the age of eleven. Suddenly my mind was awakened to all sorts of new ideas and possibilities as well as true love.

As the years passed my ideas about what magic, true magic, was had changed as I lost some of my innocence and 'grew up'. Thanks to God, my ideas didn't change as drastically as they change for most people I've know, but but they did change nonetheless. I no longer believed that anything was possible and I felt lost and alone more often over time. I did therapy which helped me to 'find my way back to myself', if you will. Then I moved to Santa Fe, New Mexico and that was certainly a turning point that steered me back towards the light. I detoured into some darkness but it truly is always darkest before the dawn. I eventually got to a place where I was not just asking for help from God/Consciousness (insert favorite name here, lol) but I was begging for it. And then I came across a man who had recently been to see Joao de Deus (John of God) in Abadiania, Brazil. I had wanted to make this trip for about five years but I'd never had a reason to go because I thought of him as a healer of the physical body and I am blessed with fantastic health.

The man conveyed to me how John of God had removed all of the anger from his soul. I knew it was true because he'd had a terrible reputation for being a supremely unpleasant man and the man I was speaking to was obviously kind-hearted and full of love and gratitude. I thought to myself that if John of God could remove the anger from this guy then I bet he could probably help me with the sadness and pain that I'd still felt a deep connection to at the time. So at that moment I said to the man and to myself that I was going to see John of God! I didn't know how but I knew I'd get there and that boosted my quest up several notches.

Soon after this I was told about The Secret for the first time and by the third time I was told about how great it was I figured maybe I should check it out. I'm grateful that I did 'cause it added some high octane fuel to my newly reawakened quest. I watched it every day for over a month. My creativity reared it's beautiful head and I started designing t-shirts, blogging and playing! Yup, I started wanting to play like a little girl again and I liked it! Skipping, jumping, singing and cartwheeling around in the grass has brought a whole lotta love and joy into my life and my dog's life too, lol. I can't even express how freeing that has been... a lot though! Already my connection to the sadness and pain had started to lessen somewhat.

About a year and a half after I watched The Secret I found some Abraham-Hicks cds that I had lost track of for quite a few years and started listening to them again. I'd actually been to an Abraham-Hicks seminar in Albuquerque in '02... I remember having loved it but somehow... Well, we all get things in our own time, sheesh! (Abraham-Hicks is where the 'Law of Attraction' the core message of The Secret actually comes from.) Their cd's are amazing, very empowering. They have some great videos on Youtube as well. You'll find one of the videos in a previous post of mine if you click on the tag Abraham-Hicks.

So then about nine months ago a friend of mine asked me to stay with her while she was in the hospital recovering from an operation that she needed to have. She came through her operation like a champion and the recovery was more of the same. Several weeks after I returned home she called me and told me that she decided she wanted to go to Brazil to see John of God and she wanted to bring me with her as a thank you. She said that it would be fun to go with me, being as I'd wanted to go for such a long time and would be very enthusiastic. I was ecstatic, of course, and a couple of months later I found myself in Abadiania, Brazil having the time of my life! It was heaven on earth for me. I've written plenty about that though so I will move on...

I will tell you that the sadness and pain I felt such a strong connection to is gone, completely gone, and I have received many other fabulous gifts from that trip as well. I am most certainly going back, hopefully soon. One of the gifts I received was another huge boost towards the knowing that a magical life is not only possible but it's happening now. My experiences in Abadiania were truly fantastical and definitely magical. Spiritual teachers have been telling me that anything is possible since I was a child and now a variety of scientists are offering corroborating evidence with quantum physics. Just check out What the Bleep!? - Down the Rabbit Hole, it's amazing.

My most recent incredible boost came from a friend of mine in Abadiania. He told me about Matrix Energetics. I don't know really how to describe Matrix Energetics so I'll just give you an excerpt from the website and if you like it you can click on the paragraph and follow the link down this rabbit hole;

Matrix Energetics is a complete system of healing, self-care and transformation. It is a transferable and teachable phenomenon, powered by intent, which has a physical and observable effect every time. Complete beginners as well as seasoned health care practitioners are able to perform and utilize this work to affect change-with no waiting and no running of energy. Anyone can learn this skill and practice Matrix Energetics.

I can tell you that after taking one seminar I am totally hooked on it! I had so much fun at that seminar it was like taking a vacation with a bunch of crazy fun kids and just playing and playing and playing! Which is pretty much what we did with some quantum physics, a little consciousness and all kinds of what I'd call magic thrown into the games. On a video testimonial from the website a woman said something to the effect that a Matrix Energetics seminar was like a trip to Hogwart's. ( the school that Harry Potter attends) I'd have to agree with her. And now I know for certain that magic does exist! True magic, the kind of magic that you always wanted to believe in. I could tell you incredible stories but I think that if you are ready for this amazing experience you will know it and you will embrace it! I did. I found out about Matrix Energetics in mid May and I was at a seminar in L.A. on June 6th. The money I needed to do it just flowed right to me and I took that crazy bull's horns and went with it.

For the past couple of years I have found myself living in joy more and more of the time. My temper has dramatically changed and I find it so much easier to let go of anger, pain and shame. I am able to feel my emotions and then to let them go, so simple! When I do find myself in a tantrum I am able to step back and laugh at myself and move on to the business of my magical life! The things that I am wanting are flowing into my life more and more easily. Ease and joy are the name of my game now and it's happening... like magic! So the next time someone tells you that you can do anything, be anything or have anything that you are wishing for... Believe it! It's the complete and utter truth.

Yikes! Just Say No To Embarrassment.

I was conversing with a younger woman at a dinner party recently and she was telling me about an embarrassing incident that she'd had. I waited for her to finish her story and then I told her something that perhaps comes with age or perhaps it only comes with certain guidance. Embarrassment is mostly useless and it can be greatly overcome. I practice by simply choosing to continue to do silly things that make me happy even while people are passing by. Like, I walk my dog with my ipod on and I sing along to the music, granted I do this on a country road where only my neighbours are subjected to my crooning but... you get the point. It started with me doing yoga in the backyard. I love doing yoga in the grass but I was feeling a little embarrassed about people watching me. At first I tried to block the view and then it occured to me that it really doesn't matter. I also realized that if I saw someone doing yoga in their backyard that I would think they were pretty darn cool. I don't know that I'll ever be immune to embarrassment but the more confidence I give to myself the less embarrassed I feel. Try it out, it's quite liberating.

Transcendental Ornamentation!

The other day I went to the Harvest Festival at Bethel Woods (at the site of the Woodstock Concert) and there was a lovely woman with a very cool tent giving henna tattoos. Michelle Dawson is the artist of this beautiful tattoo'd hand, her card reads Henna Body Art by Michelle. She offers private appointments as well as parties and special events. In India women get henna tattoos for their wedding and it's soooooooo beautiful! If I get married again I think I will give Michelle a call! Check her out, she's a very cool woman!

Early in my teens, as well as off and on in later years, I worked in a record/paraphanalia /punk clothing and accessories store in Montpelier, Vermont. The store, Buch Spieler, is still there. The owner, Fred Wilbur, remains to this day my absolute favorite boss of all time. I could write several posts about my times at Buch Spieler. So, anyway, most of my friends at the time were either 'punks' or 'hippies' and I was probably somewhere in between but I was always a little too fashionable to be considered either. (I've always loved fashion.) Many of my friends got tattoos and piercings but I never had the desire to do either, beyond the three holes in each of my ears which I'd already had for several years. I've always loved body art but it just was not something I wanted for myself as a teen.

Then suddenly in my mid twenties I had the desire to get an Om tattoo. I was living in an ashram at the time and the idea would just not leave my head. I sat on the desire for about six months to make sure that it wasn't simply a passing fancy. When I was certain that I would not change my mind I asked an artist friend of mine to design my tattoo for me. He searched in books for inspiration but nothing was jumping out at him. Finally, one evening we were talking on the phone and for no particular reason I casually picked a book up off of my bookshelf. It was an old chanting book that I had not used in years. As I picked it up a small gift card fell out. It was a card from a gift that my spiritual teacher had given me when I was about twelve years old. My spiritual name, Nitya, was hand written on the front and at the end of the 'a' an Om was drawn with great flourish. I had never noticed the om before! I could think of no better inspiration, so I rushed over to my friend's apartment and showed him the card. I got my tattoo shortly after in Woodstock, NY at Pat's Tats.

I have never regretted getting my tattoo and I have been ruminating on another for several years now. I have a design that I actually created for TempleGreen.com that came from a tattoo I had wanted to get. I had given up on the idea because I couldn't find the right design. Until, one day, I stepped back from the design I had done and realized I'd drawn it myself! I hadn't thought before that I could draw something so detailed... Eventually I will get my Phoenix/Feng Huang! (You can see the design in the August post "Aaah! The Power of Wisdom and Intention".)

Finding My Inner Yogini

I had my first Hatha Yoga experience somewhere around the age of eleven or twelve. I was visiting my father at the ashram where he was living. My cousin had introduced him to her Guru and he never looked back. From that time on he lived primarily in ashrams, in the United States as well as in India. Slowly family members began following his lead and soon my entire family were living at the ashram. The clothing in the ashram was extremely modest in those days, the Hatha Yoga teacher would wear a floor length skirt and a long sleeved blouse and the demonstrator usually wore a punjabi. I remember most clearly the guided savasana and the powerful effect that her words had on my body. I actually still use several of that teacher's phrases in my own relaxation. I can still hear her soft reassuring voice in my head as I guide myself into Savasana.

I have spent most of my life traveling and moving around, first with my family and then on my own. The longest time that I've spent living in an ashram was a little over two and a half years, I am the exception in my family. Anyway, it was during that particular time that I trained to be a Hatha Yoga teacher. For a brief period I taught my own classes but I preferred giving private lessons and adjusting for other teachers' classes. I do not really enjoy public speaking and simply feel more comfortable working one on one with people. At that time I was living in India and the rooms the teachers were given to practice in were in a beautiful small house surrounded by Plumeria trees. If you are unfamiliar with Plumeria trees they are flowering trees and the blooms are gorgeous and fragrant! It was a heavenly experience to be sure!

At that time I had a truly fantastic and wonderfully motivating teacher. His depth of understanding the body and the postures as well as his conveyance of that knowledge into his students' bodies is truly phenomenal. He has his own school now and I could not be happier or more grateful to have worked with him. Digressing! Since then I have moved numerous times and arisen from many an ash pile as the Phoenix reborn! Hatha Yoga pops in and out of my life like a good old friend that doesn't need constant attention to stay close to my heart. Also my old teacher's voice has never left my head. His words and his principles were so firmly planted in my body that every time I practice, if I focus, my body practically self adjusts!

About a year and a half ago I began to recreate myself yet again! I started keeping a gratitude journal, taking better care of my body and mind and meditating regularly again. I also started playing with my dog as a form of exercise which I highly recommend. After awhile playing with my dog opened out into really just spontaneous playing. I started skipping around and doing cartwheels and somersaults, like a young girl! In the winter, my precious pup and I would tumble and roll around in the snow. I learned that I could actually enjoy cold weather, which I never had before. It was amazing and inspiring and it helped me to open up my heart to my own self! Wah!

Finally this Spring I was playing with the dogs outside when suddenly I just felt like breakin' into Surya Namaskar... so I did. Now I do my yoga practice outside, right on the grass, nearly every day and I have never enjoyed Hatha Yoga more. At 39 I feel more connected to my body, the postures and the shakti than I have ever felt before. I am also stronger and more flexible than I've ever been and people tell me I look fantastic, which isn't neccessary but it certainly feels good. Through the ebb and flow of my ever-changing life, I will always have Hatha Yoga to come home to. I've found my inner yogini this summer and though it's likely that she will disappear again I know she'll always be there when I truly need her. Sadgurunath Maharaj Ki Jai!