I'll Take the Magical Life Please...

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I recently came to realize that I have been on a quest for a magical life since I was , hmm, well very very young. I was desperate to read and when I did start reading I went hog wild and read everything I could get my hands on. Greek Mythology was my favorite and then Fantasy took over which later blossomed out into the hybrid Science Fiction/Fantasy and the sky was the limit from there. My quest gained a great deal of momentum when I met my spiritual teacher and received Shaktipat at the age of eleven. Suddenly my mind was awakened to all sorts of new ideas and possibilities as well as true love.

As the years passed my ideas about what magic, true magic, was had changed as I lost some of my innocence and 'grew up'. Thanks to God, my ideas didn't change as drastically as they change for most people I've know, but but they did change nonetheless. I no longer believed that anything was possible and I felt lost and alone more often over time. I did therapy which helped me to 'find my way back to myself', if you will. Then I moved to Santa Fe, New Mexico and that was certainly a turning point that steered me back towards the light. I detoured into some darkness but it truly is always darkest before the dawn. I eventually got to a place where I was not just asking for help from God/Consciousness (insert favorite name here, lol) but I was begging for it. And then I came across a man who had recently been to see Joao de Deus (John of God) in Abadiania, Brazil. I had wanted to make this trip for about five years but I'd never had a reason to go because I thought of him as a healer of the physical body and I am blessed with fantastic health.

The man conveyed to me how John of God had removed all of the anger from his soul. I knew it was true because he'd had a terrible reputation for being a supremely unpleasant man and the man I was speaking to was obviously kind-hearted and full of love and gratitude. I thought to myself that if John of God could remove the anger from this guy then I bet he could probably help me with the sadness and pain that I'd still felt a deep connection to at the time. So at that moment I said to the man and to myself that I was going to see John of God! I didn't know how but I knew I'd get there and that boosted my quest up several notches.

Soon after this I was told about The Secret for the first time and by the third time I was told about how great it was I figured maybe I should check it out. I'm grateful that I did 'cause it added some high octane fuel to my newly reawakened quest. I watched it every day for over a month. My creativity reared it's beautiful head and I started designing t-shirts, blogging and playing! Yup, I started wanting to play like a little girl again and I liked it! Skipping, jumping, singing and cartwheeling around in the grass has brought a whole lotta love and joy into my life and my dog's life too, lol. I can't even express how freeing that has been... a lot though! Already my connection to the sadness and pain had started to lessen somewhat.

About a year and a half after I watched The Secret I found some Abraham-Hicks cds that I had lost track of for quite a few years and started listening to them again. I'd actually been to an Abraham-Hicks seminar in Albuquerque in '02... I remember having loved it but somehow... Well, we all get things in our own time, sheesh! (Abraham-Hicks is where the 'Law of Attraction' the core message of The Secret actually comes from.) Their cd's are amazing, very empowering. They have some great videos on Youtube as well. You'll find one of the videos in a previous post of mine if you click on the tag Abraham-Hicks.

So then about nine months ago a friend of mine asked me to stay with her while she was in the hospital recovering from an operation that she needed to have. She came through her operation like a champion and the recovery was more of the same. Several weeks after I returned home she called me and told me that she decided she wanted to go to Brazil to see John of God and she wanted to bring me with her as a thank you. She said that it would be fun to go with me, being as I'd wanted to go for such a long time and would be very enthusiastic. I was ecstatic, of course, and a couple of months later I found myself in Abadiania, Brazil having the time of my life! It was heaven on earth for me. I've written plenty about that though so I will move on...

I will tell you that the sadness and pain I felt such a strong connection to is gone, completely gone, and I have received many other fabulous gifts from that trip as well. I am most certainly going back, hopefully soon. One of the gifts I received was another huge boost towards the knowing that a magical life is not only possible but it's happening now. My experiences in Abadiania were truly fantastical and definitely magical. Spiritual teachers have been telling me that anything is possible since I was a child and now a variety of scientists are offering corroborating evidence with quantum physics. Just check out What the Bleep!? - Down the Rabbit Hole, it's amazing.

My most recent incredible boost came from a friend of mine in Abadiania. He told me about Matrix Energetics. I don't know really how to describe Matrix Energetics so I'll just give you an excerpt from the website and if you like it you can click on the paragraph and follow the link down this rabbit hole;

Matrix Energetics is a complete system of healing, self-care and transformation. It is a transferable and teachable phenomenon, powered by intent, which has a physical and observable effect every time. Complete beginners as well as seasoned health care practitioners are able to perform and utilize this work to affect change-with no waiting and no running of energy. Anyone can learn this skill and practice Matrix Energetics.

I can tell you that after taking one seminar I am totally hooked on it! I had so much fun at that seminar it was like taking a vacation with a bunch of crazy fun kids and just playing and playing and playing! Which is pretty much what we did with some quantum physics, a little consciousness and all kinds of what I'd call magic thrown into the games. On a video testimonial from the website a woman said something to the effect that a Matrix Energetics seminar was like a trip to Hogwart's. ( the school that Harry Potter attends) I'd have to agree with her. And now I know for certain that magic does exist! True magic, the kind of magic that you always wanted to believe in. I could tell you incredible stories but I think that if you are ready for this amazing experience you will know it and you will embrace it! I did. I found out about Matrix Energetics in mid May and I was at a seminar in L.A. on June 6th. The money I needed to do it just flowed right to me and I took that crazy bull's horns and went with it.

For the past couple of years I have found myself living in joy more and more of the time. My temper has dramatically changed and I find it so much easier to let go of anger, pain and shame. I am able to feel my emotions and then to let them go, so simple! When I do find myself in a tantrum I am able to step back and laugh at myself and move on to the business of my magical life! The things that I am wanting are flowing into my life more and more easily. Ease and joy are the name of my game now and it's happening... like magic! So the next time someone tells you that you can do anything, be anything or have anything that you are wishing for... Believe it! It's the complete and utter truth.

Back from Heaven...

I just got back from Abadiania where the Casa Dom Inácio De Loyola is located and I have to say that I feel as though I have been to Heaven. The hour and a half cab ride from Brasilia Airport gives only a preview of the beauty of Abadiania. The clouds dip below the horizon giving one the impression that one is floating in the sky. There are pretty white Brahman Cows dotting the lovely green hills and people and towns are few and far between. The Taxi whizzes by the breathtaking countryside at a speed that is slightly less than comfortable but ya gotta just go with the Brazilian flow! As the towns do pass you catch glimpses of cool rustic wooden furniture and shiny copper pots laid out by the road in an attempt to draw in passers by. The copper pots come in many sizes from very small to massive, so big that it would take three men just to pick one up... empty!

I had an amazing and magical trip to Heaven and I will return as soon as I possibly can. If you are wondering why I went to this distant small town simply read the post before this one and all will be revealed. Okay well, some will be revealed anyway! And as for the details of my trip, well... That's a long involved story of spiritual healing a wee bit too private for this blog. Sorry gang! I will tell you that Abadiania is a magical place and if you choose to make the journey, prepare to leave a changed person.

She's Going the Distance. . .

This post is not about Oprah but I just want to start by telling you that I am in utter awe of her commitment to the enlightenment of the world! She just did a second follow up show on "The Secret" and it was just perfect for me and what I was needing to hear. Settle in gang, I have a lot to say today. Where to begin... Okay I've got it. I have had the great good fortune to grow up with a spiritual teacher who told me, repeatedly, that the most important thing in the world was to love myself. I've always known the Truth of this in my heart but the experience of it is another story. I am not saying that I have terrible self esteem, my self esteem is not too bad. I've done a good deal of intensive therapy to overcome some out dated survival techniques that I learned as a child. Like every person I've ever met, my childhood was less than ideal and I picked up some issues along the way. I would say that in some ways I've had better than average self esteem and in others I've had less. Anyway, my point is that I've been learning for almost thirty years what it means to truly love myself. It has been a fantastic and terrible journey and it's left me baffled more than once.

A couple of years ago I was at a low point in my quest. I was depressed and truly felt like I was drowning. And then I had a conversation with a man who'd just returned from Brazil where he'd visited a healer that I had wanted to see for several years, John of God (Joao de Deus). We spoke for some time as the man described how his heart had been healed. I knew his words to be true because he had been a notoriously angry and hateful man in the community and he was the father of a friend of mine as well. When I met him he was an extremely kind and gentle soul. His son had told me that his father was a changed man, and the change was unbelievable. So, on that day, I made a promise to myself that I would go to see John of God within the next couple of years and that I would ask for him to heal the deep sadness that I'd lived with for most of my life. The moment that I made the promise to myself I felt the weight on my chest lighten.

Several days later I went to see my Nurse Practitioner and I told her that I'd been feeling pretty depressed and how, simply making a decision to do something about it had greatly lightened my load. She suggested that I get a dvd that she'd seen called "The Secret". She was the third person to suggest this to me and so I decided that it was time to check out this amazing dvd. So I went onto the internet, found the site after some searching and purchased this strange looking dvd. At the time "The Secret" was only available from their own site and it was not very well known so it was a little hard to find. I watched it the moment that it arrived and then I watched it every day for a month and a half after that, sometimes several times a day. (I am obviously a huge fan of "The Secret".) The information was not new to me and, in fact, I had actually done a two day seminar with Esther Hicks several years before, but it came at just the right time and it had exactly what I needed. Also it was a fantastic tool for me because I needed something that I could get into my bones and what better way than watching a movie that is fun and exciting and uplifting and... The Truth?

People who say that it is too focused on obtaining material possessions apparently did not watch the entire film or perhaps they saw what they wanted to see. The teachers in "The Secret" clearly state, a number of times, that; money and possessions will not bring happiness, and that manifestation will not work if you are simply focused on getting a lot of stuff. The fact of the matter is that to get to the point where one has the ability to manifest, one generally must first become a happier and more balanced person. So if a person starts the journey because they want more stuff, they will probably not be that same person when they achieve the goal of manifestation. In my opinion it doesn't really matter why a person is motivated to work on themselves for the work to bear fruit. If you ask me the more the merrier and apparently Oprah feels the same way;

No matter any criticism for The Secret, Oprah says she still believes it's valuable. "I'm grateful that for so many millions of people the door was at least opened to the idea that we are each responsible for the quality of our lives,"

I love you Oprah, you truly rock! So, moving along, it's been about two years since I first started watching "The Secret" and I am a totally different person, I am actually quite used to change though, I grew up with constant change and very little same. Even so it has been an amazing two years and I have done A LOT of work on myself. I started keeping a gratitude journal, meditating and exercising regularly again, which I hadn't been doing for quite some time. I started two blogs and writing for a couple of content websites. I found CafePress.com and discovered that I love to create designs, and from people's reactions to my designs I am apparently quite good at it. So now I have two websites that sell my designs, one for spiritual designs and one for silly and funny designs.

Saying that I had never been very good at "creating abundance" in my life would be a gross understatement. I grew up in a family and community where money was not the goal of life. Don't get me wrong I had worked since I was eleven, I enjoyed working, but never with the goal of having a lot of money. Stuff was not my thing and I pretty much always had enough anyway... just enough. As years went on I had more and more difficulty with this and eventually I just kind of gave up on abundance. It suddenly became a huge issue in my life when I started feeling like a failure because of my handicap... my self esteem plummeted. Luckily I have a guardian angel who whispered "The Secret" into my ear three times. So for two years I did everything that I learned to create abundance in my life but to no avail. I definitely brought a lot more joy and peace into my life but abundance continued to elude me. My self esteem managed to climb out of the gutter and clean herself off only to look around and find that the fear of failure was standing and waiting for the right moment to push her down again. And then along came Oprah and some friends to save the day!

I came away from Oprah's latest follow up on "The Secret" with valuable insight. I've watched it twice, to firm it up, and I'll probably watch it a few more times. What I got was not new information, as with "The Secret", but the timing was right and I was ready, nay desperate, to hear it. After a ridiculous number of years I was finally able to penetrate the freakin' armor around my heart! These tips will, perhaps, sound simple and silly but they are working for me, so here you go;

1.) The key to everything is to love yourself. Even if you think that you do love yourself try this anyway and see what happens. Look at yourself in a mirror and say "I love you, I really, truly love you." Look into your eyes when you say this and try to mean it, even if you feel silly. Try to feel it. When I say love I mean the kind of love that a mother is meant to feel for a child. The love that God feels for us. Unconditional adoration with a healthy dose of comforting affection. It felt great to me... after the initial weirdness wore off.

2.) Figure out any hidden resentments that you may have in your life and just let them go. Find it in your heart to forgive the transgressor no matter how horrible their offense. This is just good advice, regardless, but sometimes these resentments can feel justified. Holding onto resentment will keep you from fully achieving your goals so "justified" or not only you are suffering. I found some that were eking out an existence in my soul and I am working on shooing them out. It's not always easy but it sure is necessary.

3.) Figure out how to let go of any fear or feelings of needing whatever it is that you are wanting in your life. When you visualize, do it with joy and then offer it up to God or the universe or whoever and then move along. Give the decision of the how and even the what to your higher power, do not feel that you are manifesting but instead that you are simply putting it out there and then getting on with the business of loving yourself and choosing to be joyful.

After watching the Secret Follow Up for the second time I ran a bubble bath to give myself a boost. I got into the tub and as I leaned back I noticed that the bubbles had formed into the shape of a perfect heart. For a moment I just smiled and laughed. I have been finding heart shapes all around me for well over a year. I have written about them and I have photos of some, like this one of the heart cloud that was over my house. It was better before I ran inside to get my camera but it's still pretty cool. It happens so often that my friends and family just laugh now when I point them out. So... back in the bubble bath, the reason for all of the crazy hearts suddenly hit me like a bolt of lightning. The Universe had been trying to tell me to actively love myself for over a year! I looked towards heaven and said, "Thank You!" out loud and then tears of gratitude streamed down my face. I couldn't believe it. If you could see all of the amazing hearts that have formed around me you would be too. ( A couple of them are here. The dog pee one is very funny.) And as the steam from my bath hovered around me a list of people that I was grateful to streamed through my head as though I were giving an acceptance speech of some kind... "I want to thank my mom and dad. Thank you to my teacher and her teacher and his teacher. Thank you Esther Hicks and Abraham. Thank you Cealo...." and the list went on and the tears flowed.

It all boiled down to this in my head; The Truth is that there is nothing that exists that is not God (or whatever word you choose to call that), and the key to life is to simply, or not so simply, LOVE YOURSELF! No matter what, for no other reason than because you exist and with a whole and joyous heart. Go look in the mirror and say "I love you, I really, and truly love you!"... and then believe it. In the immortal words of the Nike Corporation, "Just do it."

Oh yes and, by the way, one of my best friends is taking me to Brazil with her to see John of God in April. (As a thank you gift but that's another story.) I will be there for my fortieth birthday, which I personally find to be quite auspicious. Et Voila! If that's not manifestation than I don't know what is. Go forth and manifest! Oh, and check out Oprah's web page about the follow up to "The Secret".

Thank you Oprah. Thank you Louise Hay. Thank you God, Buddha, Allah, Vishnu, Shiva, Zeus, Jesus, Thor and Mother Earth!